Dating after breakup hard
Breakups are never easy, and there is a lot to think about and process once you find yourself single again. Read on to discover 13 love and relationship experts' advice as to how long you should wait after a breakup to date again."How ever long you need to work through the anger or sadness," Janet Zinn, a New York City–based couples therapist, tells Bustle. While some thought it's best to get right back in there, others really maintained that giving yourself a lot of time and space — two to three months for every year you were together with your last partner, for example — is the smartest and most honest way to go, especially if you really want to be emotionally prepared for your next relationship. In classic life fashion, all of the experts gave a different number. Really, all of these questions are super legit and hard to really answer without getting expert opinion, which is why I asked 13 experts: When should you hit the dating game again after a breakup? JK, JK, but really — it's hard to know how long to wait. If you jump right into something new, are you just rebounding?"That way, it’s not a rebound or reactionary date scenario." If you dive directly back into the dating pool, you might find yourself in the deep end, so to speak."Too often people want to jump into a relationship," she says.
"Work on forgiving yourself for choosing a partner who wasn't a good match — and on forgiving your partner for the disappointment and hurt related to your relationship." Though you may wish it weren't so, there is always work to do after a breakup."You can't move forward if you're still clinging to old pain, resentments, doubts, and anger," she says."Don't waste your time or the time of a new partner" until you are truly ready to open your heart again.tells Bustle."Yet since everything is an inside job, it’s wise to continuing learning from the last relationship, grieving the loss and pain that came up as a result of what happened.After a big breakup is a good time to journal, read good self-help books, and perhaps get counseling as a way to grow.
Dating, when you feel ready, can be a good way of practicing the new skills you are learning as you acquire awareness about yourself." But go slow."I always tell my clients that even if this is the 'one' and you feel propelled into taking action, please wait four seasons before making big decisions." If you make it through spring, summer, fall, and winter, green light.